In the Shadow of the Neuse

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

-Matthew 6:27

“Begin doing what you want to do now.
We are not living in eternity.
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand
and melting like a snowflake.”
~ Marie Beyon Ray

     I have had several ideas rattling around in the recesses of my brain all summer and have been meaning to sit down and express them here several times. To be honest, it has been such a busy and fun summer that I haven't been able to entice myself to sit still long enough to get the job done. But, I have convinced myself, that is absolutely acceptable. As stated in the quote above, this precious season has melted away and I have been in the moment during this span of time more thoroughly than I have in a very long time.

     Earlier this spring, I went through a difficult trial in the form of the possibility of a diagnosis of uterine cancer. There were a lot of doctor visits, a lot of invasive procedures, a lot of waiting to hear results, a lot of stress, a lot of prayers. In the end, everything came up benign. It was the best news I could have heard and I am still feeling so grateful to God for this reprieve. So many friends and family members reached out to support me, lifting me up in prayer and finally rejoicing with me after my last visit to the doctor.

     Not too long ago, I was driving back from the bike trail on the Neuse River that I have been riding on so much this summer. On the local country station, I heard the song I will post below. Some might think it cliched, but it expressed a lot of what I had been feeling after going through several months of stressful anticipation. Tears rolled down my face as I listened to it. I had heard it before, but this was the first time I had really paid close attention to the words.

     I will never forget this summer as one in which I truly lived. I made a point of getting healthy: exercising and strengthening my weakened body that I had neglected for far too long, making healthy changes in my diet and the diet of my family, and rejuvenating my mind with positive, encouraging thoughts and prayers. I have made a point of spending time with my family, really listening, really being there. I have spent far too much time in my life concerning myself with what comes tomorrow or next year instead of being here now.

     As I begin another school year, my goal is to continue in this line of thinking and behavior. I want to be intentional in the way I live, helping myself to stay strong and in doing so, making myself much more capable of caring for those around me in the way they deserve and the way I desire. As the song says, I intend to live like I am dying, savoring every moment, and loving those around me to the best of my ability.

Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw



Wrestling With Weeds

Matthew 13:22-23

²² "Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. ²³ But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty."

     My garden is slowly drowning in weeds. The flowers peek forlornly from beneath the boisterous batches of unknown and unwanted plants that have sprung up around them. They began with small shoots and lack of attention on my part allowed them to creep insidiously upward and outward until they became a big problem.
    Last weekend, I decided the time had come to start wrestling the weeds into submission. I pulled and plucked for hours, my daughter sometimes helping me, and still the job was incomplete. I now stand and shake my head, irritated with myself for letting the weeds get so out of control. A combination of other obligations and the extremely hot temperatures this summer made it all too easy for me to avoid this necessary task.
    As I was weeding, I remembered the verses from the Bible I've listed above. As I have said before, I would rather be out in nature than anywhere else, and often feel closest to God there. In the stillness of wild and natural places, I hear God's voice most clearly. I have been trying in my own life lately to determine what is most important and worthy of my time and attention. Too often, I have allowed the cares and difficulties of life to choke out these things just as the weeds have choked the flowers in my garden. I must not allow the stress and seeming tail-chasing of everyday life create such frenzy and busyness that I neglect to look around for someone in need that I can help, someone I can cheer with a kind word, someone in whose life I can make a positive difference. My prayer today is that the "weeds" in my life will not get in the way of showing God's love to my family, my friends and acquaintances, and to people I have not even met yet.