True Colors

 

"As you are now, so once was I, "

As I am now, so you must be."

-Origin unknown

 

     I was on my Saturday bike ride again this morning, enjoying the crisp air and the early sunlight filtering through the trees around me. I began to notice many bright splashes of color here and there on the trail and I stopped occasionally to take photos. All of this got me thinking. Many plants were putting on their most brilliant appearance at this point in the year when everything is waning or about to wane and succumb to the bite of frosty nights. It made me think about how youth compares to experience and age. It brought to mind people like Grandma Moses, who was painting beautiful pictures at age 100. I did a little research when I got home from my ride and found many more marvelous feats of elderly people who did not let their age become a barrier to achieving their goals- too many to list here.
     I feel inspired by these folks who continued to strive to fulfill their dreams, even when others might have written them off as depleted and waiting for death. It makes me realize that it is never too late to reach for the longings within our hearts, to maneuver around the obstacles that might block our paths. We can learn so much from our elders who have countless experiences and skills to contribute, share, and teach. I hope I will never lose this spark, this desire to grow and reach out to those around me as I grow older. I hope my colors will shine as bright as those I saw today when I reach the autumn of my years.

Proverbs 20:29 (NIV)

“The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The Circle Game"

"Through the crisp, swirling launch of our recall

Memories smile at yesterday's replay

September guides us gently into Fall

When woods begin to hear chill winter's call."

M. Jo Taylor, Autumn Poems

     As I was taking my Saturday morning bike ride today and enjoying the beautiful weather on the first day of fall, the song in the link below kept stealing back into my mind over and over again. The changing of the seasons always puts me in a contemplative mood, but fall in particular brings on a melancholy feeling tempered by comforting memories of past autumns. I love this season- the sights, the smells, the sounds, the tastes, the cooling temperatures. It is a delight to the senses. My children's reactions to autumn each year have reawakened reminiscences within me of my own childhood as I watch them relish the season, too.
    I have always loved Joni Mitchell's song as well, and now as a mother, it means so much more to me than it did earlier in my life. My children are growing up so swiftly, season to season. People always told me to enjoy the moments, even the trying ones, because time slips away all too fast and children grow up in the blink of an eye. I am trying hard to be mindful of this, for I know it to be all too true in my own experience. I am spending time remembering these years of growth as I look through old photographs lately. My son even stopped long enough in his play to sit on my lap as we watched the video clip of "The Circle Game" below. He said, "that was a good song, Mom. I liked that the boy was being hugged by his own little boy at the end." That is the key right there- passing on the love to the next generation. We may be "captives on the carousel of time" as it says in the song, but the love goes on, passed from each beloved child to his or her own children. Love your family today- life is not perfect, but in the end, there is love and that is enough.

 

 

Joni Mitchell's song "The Circle Game" (with lyrics)

Pondering in Goldengrove

to a young child

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By & by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you will weep & know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sorrow's springs are the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

--Gerard Manley Hopkins

     I was reminded of this poem when my daughter recently teared up while we were driving to her school one morning. We were discussing the fact that autumn is coming on soon . When I asked her what was the matter, at first she said she didn't know but then admitted that although she likes fall, it always makes her feel a little sad, "like things are coming to an end." I have always loved fall with its myriad colors and the satisfying crunch of dry leaves underfoot, the scent of woodsmoke in the air, the energizing nip in the temperature, but I can certainly relate to that melancholic feeling she expressed. Winter is not my favorite season, though moving to the warmer climate of North Carolina has alleviated my winter blues to quite an extent. My many winters spent in New York State brought me to a point where I felt a heavy dread begin to grow inside when the first snowflakes flew in autumn. How delightful it was to discover daffodils beginning to sprout in January and bloom in February the first spring I lived down south. Even after sixteen springs here, I am still amazed to see those green shoots poking out of the ground so early in the year.
     Part of the reason I began this blog was the feeling Hopkins expressed so eloquently above: the sense of time's passage, of mortality, of the realization that life is fleeting. The somewhat overused expression "carpe diem" comes to mind. I look at the picture below of my children from two autumns ago and already they have grown so much, changed so much. My mind is set on making a conscious effort to make the most of each day, to create memories with my family,  and cease the mindless hurtle through the days, the months, the years. As the air begins to chill and the autumn colors begin their subtle, yet eye-catching creep across the green of youthful leaves, I choose to live in the now, enjoying each moment I am given on this beautiful earth with my beautiful family and friends. Here's to a spectacular autumn!