In the Shadow of the Neuse

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

-Matthew 6:27

“Begin doing what you want to do now.
We are not living in eternity.
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand
and melting like a snowflake.”
~ Marie Beyon Ray

     I have had several ideas rattling around in the recesses of my brain all summer and have been meaning to sit down and express them here several times. To be honest, it has been such a busy and fun summer that I haven't been able to entice myself to sit still long enough to get the job done. But, I have convinced myself, that is absolutely acceptable. As stated in the quote above, this precious season has melted away and I have been in the moment during this span of time more thoroughly than I have in a very long time.

     Earlier this spring, I went through a difficult trial in the form of the possibility of a diagnosis of uterine cancer. There were a lot of doctor visits, a lot of invasive procedures, a lot of waiting to hear results, a lot of stress, a lot of prayers. In the end, everything came up benign. It was the best news I could have heard and I am still feeling so grateful to God for this reprieve. So many friends and family members reached out to support me, lifting me up in prayer and finally rejoicing with me after my last visit to the doctor.

     Not too long ago, I was driving back from the bike trail on the Neuse River that I have been riding on so much this summer. On the local country station, I heard the song I will post below. Some might think it cliched, but it expressed a lot of what I had been feeling after going through several months of stressful anticipation. Tears rolled down my face as I listened to it. I had heard it before, but this was the first time I had really paid close attention to the words.

     I will never forget this summer as one in which I truly lived. I made a point of getting healthy: exercising and strengthening my weakened body that I had neglected for far too long, making healthy changes in my diet and the diet of my family, and rejuvenating my mind with positive, encouraging thoughts and prayers. I have made a point of spending time with my family, really listening, really being there. I have spent far too much time in my life concerning myself with what comes tomorrow or next year instead of being here now.

     As I begin another school year, my goal is to continue in this line of thinking and behavior. I want to be intentional in the way I live, helping myself to stay strong and in doing so, making myself much more capable of caring for those around me in the way they deserve and the way I desire. As the song says, I intend to live like I am dying, savoring every moment, and loving those around me to the best of my ability.

Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw